Surfboardin' On One Of Shaq's Turds

A few years back, I wrote these lyrics hoping to sell them to teen heart throb Aaron Carter. I thought this would be a great old school type rap jam for him. No sale. But check it out… 

I was sitting on the beach the other day,

All of the sudden I saw some great waves.

I wanted to surf ‘em,  oh my lord

but just my luck - I didn’t have a surfboard.

So I called my friend Shaq on the phone

Don’t ya know he was chillin at home

I said “Whats up Shaq, whats the deal?”

he said that he just had a really big meal.

So I said “Hey man, check the flavor,

I need you to do me a Solid favor

Go to the bathroom, take out your rump

sit on the toilet and take a big dump

grab the handle and give it a flush

and down the pipes it will rush.”

He said okay, and he did that,

and it made it to the ocean in no time flat,

then I swam out to it and jumped on top

now I’m riding the waves all day non stop!

Cuz sitting on the beach is for the birds

so I’m cold surf boarding on one of Shaqs turds!

Thanks big man, ya helped me out of a jam,

and that’s team work like an ally oop slam.

I’m hanging ten and cruising, word

I’m cold surf boarding on one of Shaqs turds!

It’s the biggest board in the surf

I’m cold surfburding on one of Shaqs turds!